Injury: Ankle/Foot – Theory #5 – A Sinister Story

February 28, 2008

I remember breaking someone’s ankles once.. I was in year three and was yet to fully form my understanding of the concept of my inability to feel the pain of others.. i mean, surely if it was that bad I should feel it too? No, I spent the afternoon smashing ankles and staring wistfully at the grey, unmoving and relatively uninspiring South China Sea. The ankles’ owner passed out fairly early on in the afternoon and, based on my pain conception maturity levels, I wasn’t to know there was any (and am therefore totally not to blame for the) pain suffered by others.

Anyway, the story behind Toby’s injur(y|ies) is way more sinister than but hopelessly intertwined with that happy memory..

Tobes doesn’t know it but I met this immensely wierd guy in Manly a while ago and after a few beers I was ready for some more. He was a former psychiatry student who’d ammounted to not much choosing to experiment with hypnosis and other brain related experiments often performed on members of the public with no idea they are in the middle of having their brain fiddled with. After finishing even more beers I told him the dark story of my wild ankle beating days gone by. He enjoyed the story immensely which wasn’t what I was trying to achieve. I was considerably drunk and came across much friendlier than intended. This freak was supposed to get the idea I was keen on smashing his ankles and was millilitres away from doing so. Alas, I had created a monster.

Over the last few months I’ve heard of quite a few people who’ve acheived injuries through suspiciously cool thing related accidents. And I have a theory.

This guy I met, let’s call him Andrew Hunter from Berowra Waters, ight have his mobile number somewhere too, was adamant he could smash someone’s ankles as I had liked to do in the past, but he had an extra trick up his you know what. He’d publicly beat someone’s around the ankle(s) and then use his brain skillz to make a) everyone aorund think they’ve seen the most amazingly daring stunt thing that resulted in surpirsingly few serious injuries and b) someone think they are the reincarnation of oh, hmmm let’s say.. Evil Knievel.

So to cut a long story slightly shorter, don’t believe Toby’s stories of dirt bikes and heroics, he was beaten by a freak in a public place and brainwashed.

And Tobes, yeah it probably is more serious than a sprain, more of a straight up beating, get it checked out..

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One Response to “Injury: Ankle/Foot – Theory #5 – A Sinister Story”


  1. Saunders your stories always involve dreams and brain washing what are you really trying to say….
    And where is the heroics bit of Toby’s story, nothing heroic about any of these theories!


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