Ninjas – Stealthy, deadly, reliable, silent, trustworthy (to kill or maime), punctual and hilarious.

You know the phrase ” he never knew what hit him”, well ninjas coined that phrase, but the original was quite a bit longer:

Here for the first time in it’s full text is the passage from “The Ninja Diaries – A Tale of Ninjas”:

“…he never knew what hit or kicked or sliced or diced or mangled or maimed or cut or stabbed or liked or hurt ot shot or carved or bit or skimmed or tazered or shived or karate chopped or speared or flew at or ate him…”

Ninjas are the most stealthy of all people, except Kevin Bacon in that movie where he’s an invisible scientist. But next to Kevin Bacon, ninjas are it. It’s more than likely that Toby’s injuries have something to do with ninjas.

We can even suppose that Toby himself is a ninja in training…can’t we… he’s quiet, diligent and goes to the gym. and perhaps he was injured in some sort of ninja training camp (like computer camp but for ninjas).

Hence theory # 4 – Ninjas.


I have heard many stories over the last few years about it happening. Groups of guys and even a woman once. I did not pay much attention to it at first but if you know how to dig you can find out about the DeeWhy movement.

Funily enough inspired by a well known hollywood film these fights are anything but staged. I wish I had a picture to post and not a movie screenshot but then again maybe I dont.

In researching this story I uncovered myths of all sorts of injuries to the fighters, everything from concussion, broken ribs, more cuts and bruises than you can imagine and even a popped eye socket!

When I started investigating Toby’s mysterious injuries I never thought it would run this deep.

If you want to know more dont come to me just look for the dodgiest guy you know on the northern beaches and ask them, dont ask the wrong person though you might end up exactly where you dont want to be.